This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization.
2020 has been such a difficult year for a lot of reasons. But the world hasn’t ended, and we’re all still showing up every day, getting our jobs done, supporting our family and friends, and being leaders in our community. Each of us have found things, both large and small, that have inspired us, encouraged us, humored us, moved us, motivated us, or in some cases, completely revived us. The IWLCA has shared those things with the Behind the Whistle community. The IWLCA asked its members to share their thoughts on how they’ve navigated the past six months so successfully..
Karin Corbett, University of Pennsylvania
The past six months have been interesting, to say the least. The ups and downs have been immense, but to see the resilience in people has been truly amazing. When our season was canceled, there was a flood of emotions, but the love my players have for each other was so incredible to see. I was inspired by their support of each other. We were able to spend time on Zoom getting to know each other more and share with each other things we might not have done if we were busy with our season.
Kevin Cooke, Mercyhurst University
Honestly, it has been family. I have had the chance to take my boys to the Adirondack Mountains, and they learned to water ski, surf and fish, which is something that I had struggled to do with them before COVID. To see the pure enjoyment and the look of amazement is something that will last a lifetime.
Anne Moelk, DePauw University
I love to take my dog for a long walk. I leave my phone, music, all electronics and ways to see or be seen in the house and just walk. I’ve seen parts of my neighborhood I would have never seen if I was trying to multitask. I’ve met fun new neighbors and have seen beautiful parks and murals along the way. I find that the majority of people I see along the way are happy and smiling, and that makes me smile more too.
Michele Dombrowski, Sewaneee: University of the South
During some of the hardest days in the last six months, we all needed some reminders of happy times. Sometimes it’s putting on a song that reminds me of our team dancing in the locker room. Other days were a stretch, but I have my go-to videos that never fail to pick me up (see list below). Thankfully, as teams come back together in some form or another, it is pretty much impossible to go long without laughter and music.
Emilia Ward, Marquette University
I’ve been able to really slow down and focus on what makes me happy and healthy. Two years ago, I began teaching myself guitar, and during this pandemic I have been able to learn over 26 songs. It also has allowed me both professional and personal growth through listening to podcasts and taking the time to read more. In our lives as coaches, we very often are always focused on others that we forget about ourselves and the little things that make us happy. To be the best on the field and for our players, we must first be the best version of ourselves.
Kerstin Kimel, Duke University
Some days I pick myself up by grabbing my headphones and my dog’s leash, putting on some upbeat music or an inspiring podcast and walking laps around the neighborhood or on the Duke Trails that back up to my house. The most amazing thing about the past six months is the connections that were strengthened or made with important people that may not have happened otherwise. Whether this was being able to have all of my kids at home under one roof, spending quality time with neighbors outside, spending time at our beach house fixing it up with our kids, having big Zoom calls with aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., there are a lot of silver linings that have come from this challenging time.
Nora Fallon-Oben, Hartwick College
These past six months have been an amazing opportunity to challenge my leadership in the best possible way. There are many opportunities for us to rise to the occasion, take a look inward and roll up our sleeves, whether it be related to social justice and racism education, or crisis management through a pandemic. During our program meetings and various initiatives when COVID canceled our season, my staff and I learned so much about our student-athletes, some of which I am unsure we would have learned had it been a normal season.
The adversity has strengthened our relationships, and it has challenged me to be a better leader and coach. One thing is for sure — the current climate is an especially fitting time to step up and lead!
On a personal note, these past six months have helped me cherish the many blessings I DO have. My love for the outdoors has been reinvigorated with making pallet gardens. I have gone on some incredible hikes, found safe ways to spend time with loved ones, eaten well, shopped at farmer’s markets and made it to a local lake almost every day this summer!
Jenna Dingler, Manhattan College
I am inspired by female trailblazers, past and present — women who would and will not take no for an answer, who stood up for what is right and who encourage the younger generations to do so each day. These women inspire me to push limits and never settle. We have achieved so much already, but there is still work to do. That makes me want to get up every day and keep going.
Miriam Esber, Mount Holyoke College
When I need to pick myself up, I put on my sneakers, grab my headphones and head out the door. No matter what’s going on, getting outside always helps clear my head and recharge my battery. While I don’t have a ton of time to read books these days, when I go for a walk/hike/bike ride, I listen to a “book on tape,” as I always call it. At the beginning of COVID, I was using Audible, but recently found you can download audio books from your local library for free. Here are some I’ve listened to this summer that I have really enjoyed:
"Where the Crawdads Sing," by Delia Owens
"Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," by Lori Gottlieb
"Becoming," by Michelle Obama
"Circe," by Madeline Miller
"White Fragility," by Robin DiAngelo
"The Nickel Boys," by Colson Whitehead
"Ask Again, Yes," by Mary Beth Keane
Beth Hewitt, Vanderbilt University
Getting outside and playing sports of any kind always makes me smile. Whether that be with my two young children at my house, or with our team competing in a king of the hill tourney of 3x, competition and exercise always seems to put a smile on my face. Obviously, 2020 has been so challenging for so many reasons, but taking advantage of the time that I have had with my kids has been something that I have relished. At times during the spring, it was hard to think about what we were missing out on as a team and a University. I found solace in trying to stay in the moment with my children and take advantage of this bonus time that I had with them.
Kathalene Kim, Quincy University
Time almost stood still these past six months. For the first time in a very long time, I was forced to “slow down” and enjoy just being home. I baked, read, slept, caught up with loved ones and even worked out without feeling rushed or guilty. My inbox that always seemed so never ending was clear, and so was my mind. While I hope this pandemic is a once-in-a-;ifetime occurrence, I am grateful to have been “forced” to enjoy the little things that I often take for granted.
Megan Taylor, US Naval Academy
It’s important to remember to not take moments in the day for granted, no matter how big or small — the cheers at the end of practice, the sunset on the water, the hugs, the laughs at a dinner table, the Starbucks refreshers walks, the look of a beautiful golf course as you are on the first tee box and the feeling when the Caps score a goal. No matter how big or small these moments are, they make up my life. It is a mindset of enjoying the little things and the rest will fall into place even during the craziest of times.
Maureen Spellman, Endicott College
The past six months have been marked by a shift in priorities I’ve seen in my role as a coach. I’ve always been very open with my players, treated them like adults and pushed them to have tough conversations because there’s no better way to grow. But this is different. The amount of pure vulnerability we have shared with each other has not only brought us closer as a unit but has shed light on the things that really matter. Rather than worrying about how many times they dropped a ball in practice, or missed a doubling opportunity, we worried about articles we read, or podcasts we heard. Not to mention the deep conversations about this world that seems to be more upside-down than right-side-up these days. During the spring, all of our correspondences ended with, “I love you all,” rather than, “Thanks, Coach.” Now, when my players leave my office after stopping by to just say hi or tell me about their day (which, by the way, is the highlight of my day, every day) it’s, “Alright, love you guys, see you later.” I think (hope) in these past six months my players have really seen how much I care about them, their lives, their opinions and their values. There’s a quote that is taped to my computer screen in my office from the great Pat Summit: “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” The amazing thing about the past six months is although we’ve had to be apart, I’ve never felt closer to them.
Hannah Khin, Occidental College
Something I look forward to while working from home are my athletic department’s weekly Zoom meetings. It’s nice to hear from the other coaches in the department, since we haven’t seen each other in person in months. Our AD ends every meeting with having everyone go around and say, “Something Good.” It allows us to find the good in difficult times and ends the meeting on a positive note.
Caili Guilday, University of Tampa
If I know someone is struggling, I suggest they take some time to meditate and try to really hone into their emotions and understand why they are feeling a certain way. I also would urge them to use resources of counselors or therapists to help them identify what they are struggling with and teach them learn how to cope with those feelings going forward. I think mental health is a very important piece of our lives and there tends to be a negative connotation when speaking about it. If we can normalize mental health conversations and make it a priority in life, I believe a lot of people will be able to find more peace and happiness.
Robin Selbst, The College of New Jersey
When I need to pick myself up, I listen to music. It allows me to escape and find a sense of calm. For those who do not know me well, I am a huge country music fan — Garth Brooks being my all-time favorite. The lyrics in his songs are uplifting and resonate with me more than any other artist. I had the good fortune of meeting him many years ago and shared that his song “The River” helped me at a crossroads in my life. I must have listened to that song more times than I can count and the lyrics, “Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide,” are embedded in my mind and heart. They have helped me to trust myself and be willing to step out of my comfort zone. I would not be where I am today if I had not made the choice I made so many years ago. Music truly does soothe the soul.
Abigail Rehfuss, Siena College
I’m inspired by my staff and players’ renewed sense of love for the game and for each other. Pre-COVID, we took little things for granted without even realizing it, like players being able to hang out in the locker room during the day, or coaches being able to work in office at the same time, or even being able to see a smile on someone’s face. Since returning to campus in August, it’s been really inspiring to see our institution, staff and players going above and beyond to create a safe campus community for everyone and to see our team working hard not just because that’s what’s expected, but because they are fueled by a rejuvenated love for the sport.
Carly Randall, Wesleyan University
One thing that always puts a smile on my face is Luke Combs’ music. If you’re into country music, his songs are so real and down to earth. In the beginning of COVID-19 when it seemed everything had shut down, he came out with “Six Feet Apart.” It is a really hopeful song with a hint of humor. I’m looking forward to seeing him live in 2021 (*fingers crossed*)!
Patty Pehnke, University of Rochester
The past six months gave me the opportunity to learn and grow into a better coach. After the season was canceled in March, all I could think was, “Now what?” and, “What am I supposed to do with my days?” It probably took a good week or so for me to realize that I have the time to read, to watch and to learn about things that I really never had the time to do before. Having this time to learn new things and to get a better understanding of what is going on in this world has definitely made me a better coach and person.
Kristen Carr, Johns Hopkins University
This time more than ever has encouraged me to embrace the importance of flexibility and be agile in every moment. Being able to pivot and adapt allows me to celebrate small accomplishments throughout the day. I call these WIN moments — what’s important now — which bring me great joy. These WINs are personal, so you can make them anything you want! I have a ton to be thankful for and appreciative of daily. Expressing gratitude towards these WIN moments empower me to become my best self. My hope is it will do the same for you!
Sylvia Queener, Whittier College
The most amazing thing about the past six months is the innumerable ways in which I’ve connected on a more personal level with the people that make up our program. I’m also wholeheartedly impressed at the constant ability of people to adapt, refocus and engage in new ways. There are so many hardworking and helpful hands shaping our world into a more equitable, supportive, and compassionate environment. And while 2020 has been unrelenting in many ways, there is still so much hope.
Denise Wescott, University of California, Berkeley
It’s been amazing to remember what’s important — love, care, compassion and respect for family, friends, community,and our student-athletes. I think connecting with those I love has definitely happened more often. It has been great deepening my relationships with others and having some great conversations. During this time, we have come together to fight injustice and work towards understanding others and learning about diversity. And getting to know our players more than ever due to having to connect by cell, FaceTime and Zoom. So many programs have been creatively finding ways to enjoy time together in so many facets, having great conversations, tough conversations, having fun with competitions such as cook-offs and just getting to know each other. I find that most of us are coaching because of the relationships we have with our staff and our players. I have enjoyed the connection with others.