This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Katrina Reeves is an assistant coach at Central Michigan University.

Growing up, my parents taught me, “Your coaches and your teachers are always right.” As a young gym rat, I remember not really thinking much of this mantra or really understanding why they felt so strongly about this message. As I grew older and began forming my own opinions, I began to understand that, “Your coaches and your teachers are always right,” isn’t necessarily what my parents meant. Their goal was to teach me the importance of listening, being respectful and being coachable.

Now, as I enter my fourth year as an assistant coach, the statement, “Your coaches and your teachers are always right,” still affects my mindset on a daily basis. I think to myself, “What if my student-athletes were raised the way I was? What if they actually think we’re ALWAYS right?”

This thought is laughable for multiple reasons:

1. My student-athletes challenge me constantly, and I wouldn’t want it any other way

2. As much as we may hate to admit it, the notion that coaches are “always right” is simply untrue

Even though we aren’t ALWAYS right, one thing most of us can agree on is that we, as coaches, carry an immeasurable amount of influence.

With this influence, it is our responsibility to prepare our student-athletes for success in the “real world” and to help them become contributing members of society when they graduate. Over this past winter break, CMU lacrosse created a “Personal & Professional Development Academy” for our student-athletes via Zoom. We held seven different sessions, each lead by guest speakers. Topics covered:

• Defining and establishing “core values” in a leadership setting

• Identifying and handling signs of depression, homesickness, isolation and loneliness

• Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

• How to market your student-athlete experience to a future employer

• Building rapport to strengthen team dynamic: Utilize your strengths to build trust

• Leading a small business through crisis, the importance of supporting the people in your community

• Having a seat at the table — empowering women to lead

Creating formal learning opportunities for our athletes to hear from leaders who are experts in areas we are not is an awesome way to give them life tools and grow their perspectives. While formal learning opportunities provide a nice change of pace for our student-athletes and give them a (sometimes much-needed) break from hearing our voices, the reality is that our daily interactions with them are by far the most influential.

For many coaches, modeling healthy behaviors comes naturally. Without even realizing it, we show up every day and model:

• Strong work ethic

• Ambition/competitiveness

• Quality communication

• Personal accountability

• High level of energy

• Teamwork

However, some of the more difficult behaviors for coaches to model, despite our best intentions include:

• How we react/respond when things don’t go our way
  I have always struggled with this for as long as I can remember. I am an emotional and competitive person, and these traits can come across the wrong way, especially in the heat of the moment. I am continuing to practice being mindful of the level of intention I put into my mannerisms on the sidelines, my reactions when athletes do or say things that I disagree with and how I handle responding to disagreements among our staff. How we react and respond gives our athletes the green light to imitate those behaviors.

• Seeing the bigger picture
  We all want to win. Sometimes focusing too much on “winning” can work against us. When we have a healthy balance of competition and intensity, and still make time for fun, our team will become more invested and more productive.

• Self-care and work/life balance
  Sadly, self-care might be the most difficult for us to model. Most of us do not have an “off” switch. Finding creative opportunities for our student-athletes to see us modeling self-care and healthy work/life balance is something we can all work on.

• Admitting when we are wrong and acknowledging when we don’t know the answer
  Contrary to what my parents taught me — COACHES ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! And that’s a good thing! The best thing about the fact that we’re not always right is that we have an incredible opportunity to demonstrate what “being wrong” looks like. When our athletes observe us acknowledging our mistakes and then working to correct them, we provide them with a healthy example of how to follow suit in their future personal and professional lives.

Measuring our success as coaches strictly by wins and losses may leave us feeling unfulfilled. The most fulfilling part of our job is seeing our influence used for good. Creating a formal, structured opportunity for growth is important. Being mindful and viewing even the most insignificant moments as opportunities to lead is where we create a lasting impact.

In 2021, we will have countless opportunities to be intentional with our influence. When the ref makes a call we disagree with, when someone forgets to pack their uniform, when a game gets canceled due to COVID, when we need an evening to ourselves but “we have to watch one more hour of film or the world is going to end” ... we can choose to zoom out and put intention behind our actions.

In 2021, we will still make mistakes … we will never be “always right.” How we handle being wrong is what counts.