This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Thuy Williams is the assistant coach at Pacific University.
Hello, today I am going to share my story with you. It is not to gain your pity, not to seek empathy, but merely in the hope that it gives you motivation to fight for your “Why.” Every. Single. Day.
I have a degenerative muscle disorder that causes a massive amount of chronic pain. When I was 30 years old, I had a doctor tell me that my disorder would continue to get worse and more painful. That eventually I would be in a wheelchair. Then I would be bedridden. And eventually, it would kill me. He advised me to plan to go to bed permanently, live off high doses of pain pills, get on welfare and social security and know that I would die early from this.
My response? I refuse to go to bed and stay there. I will keep moving until God is done with me. At that point, I had to decide what would keep me going each day. If I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in bed, what would motivate me to get up? What would keep me going on a daily — sometimes hourly — basis?
At that time, I came up with my list of “Whys.” Why would I not spend the rest of my life in bed? Why would I get up in the morning when my muscles choose not to work? Why live life when each moment is full of pain?
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The last year has been very hard on each one of us. Between COVID-19, racial division, elections, world unrest, family issues, loss of jobs, isolation and _______ (you can fill in the blank), people have struggled massively. The world closed down. Anxiety and nervous disorders are on the rise. Suicide is at an all-time high. Students are dropping out of school. Athletes are quitting sports. Everything feels out of control. It is hard to even want to leave the house some days.
When I am feeling downhearted, I always come back to my “Why.” This helps to ground me in my purpose. So, I encourage you to find three “Why” reasons for your life. Why get up, why leave the house, why continue your studies, why keep on with your sport, why push through that panic attack, why _____ (you can fill in the blank).
My three “whys” are:
1. I have a deep faith in God. With that, I believe I am here for a purpose. I get out of bed every day because I CANNOT impact others from my bed. I heard a speaker once talk about the beginning of life and the end of life. There is a date for each with a dash between. What is important is that dash. All of your life, all of your LEGACY is found within that dash. I strive to live a life that encompasses a dash that leaves a lasting legacy of good with those I leave behind. We have the opportunity to do good in our lives or to do bad. As coaches, we can build our players up, or we can tear them down. When they think about you years from now, will they think of you with fond memories or with fear and loathing? You have the choice to leave a legacy that changes lives for the better.
2. My friends and family. I have incredible friends who I can call at any time when I am struggling. Sometimes my struggle is emotional. Chronic pain can wear me down. Sometimes it’s physical. Sometimes it is a combination of both. I have friends who can pull me from the brink of despair and push me beyond the pain to remember why I get out of bed each day. It is so important to have those you can call when you are down in the dumps and can’t find a way out. I encourage you, if you don’t have those kinds of friends, that you work on seeking them out.
3. The athletes I coach. More than anything, my athletes are “my kids.” I still have many from my first year of coaching who call me for advice. I have numerous letters from athletes who tell me how I have impacted their lives, changed their trajectory in life or helped them through a rough time. Those letters, calls and texts are what keep me going each day, each minute of the day. Being able to bring positivity to kids in hard times truly makes my life fulfilling.
Despite my ailment, I feel that I have a blessed life. I seek to honor my purpose each and every day. Here I am, at the young age of 50, and boy do I have a lot of love left to share in this life!
But, without my three “Whys,” I would not have the motivation to keep going on my bad days. I encourage each of you to have three “Whys” that will encourage you to keep fighting, keep caring and keep moving. Ground your life in those purposes, and you will be amazed at what will come to fruition. If you need help in creating your “Whys,” please do not hesitate to reach out.