Behind the Whistle: The Places You'll Go and the Lessons Learned on the Way

This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Amanda Magee is the head coach at Benedictine College.

From one small town to another, my life as a coach has taken me from New Jersey to Rhode Island and now beautiful (and tiny) Atchison, Kansas. If someone had told me five years ago I would be given the opportunity to start a woman’s lacrosse program halfway across the country, I would have laughed in their face! Thankfully, that blessing did come my way, and I am here to share the top five lessons I’ve learned about life and starting a program in the Midwest.

My name is Amanda Magee, and I am from a big, loud Irish-Italian family from New Jersey. Growing up in my house, Sunday sauce with spaghetti and meatballs was staple, and my mother always cooked for fifteen people because you never knew when someone was going to stop by. As the middle child of four siblings, one boy and three girls, I always had a support system and cheering squad, and our parents always said, 'Once you’re in the circle of trust, you’re in for life.' My father was my first coach and instilled in me a love of competition. He always encouraged us to do our best, and I credit him with helping me make the decision to move to Kansas (thanks for driving the U-Haul from Rhode Island, Dad!) and this first lesson:

1. Get out of your comfort zone!

You know that saying, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone?” Well, it’s the truth!

Was it uncomfortable moving to a place where I didn’t know anyone and I was 1,600 miles from my family? Yes.

Was I terrified to make mistakes at my first head coaching job? Yes.

But I did it anyway because I knew it could be my only shot at achieving my life-long dream of making a career out of lacrosse. Moving to Kansas and starting a program at an NAIA school was a major challenge. There were days when my emotions ranged from excitement to despair to confusion, all in a two-hour practice time slot some days. When I look back at my moments of discomfort, I now see the growth. Growth in myself, as my confidence grew in my coaching abilities, and growth in my players, as they saw what fighting through adversity and challenges felt like. Taking the risk and moving to Kansas and being open to that growth paid off, and we have started to build a tradition of success.

2. If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly!

Now, I can’t take credit for this one. My first goalie coach in high school, Jesse Schmidt, gets all the credit, but it is some of the best advice I ever received. I think when you give something your all, there is nothing to regret.

Your failures can be your best lessons. I look back on those early years and some of our practice plans and think, “What was I doing?” But right or wrong, I was all in. And most importantly, the team was all in. They believed we could achieve greatness. They believed that if we gave everything we had at practice, film and lifting sessions and got a little bit better every day, at the end of the season it would be a success and the wins would follow. And luckily (or with a ton of hard work and consistency) they did. We finished No. 2 in the NAIA after the 2019 season and continue to fight for our goal and dream of winning a national championship.

3. Do something that doesn’t make you look at the clock!

I was about 10 years old when I received this sage advice from my grandfather, Donald. He was hardworking, brilliant and never complained about his job. He woke up every morning with enthusiasm and enjoyed his craft of tool and dye making.

I think most of us are lucky, in this career, that our passion lines up with our job. How many people can say that? When you stop and think about it, it’s pretty remarkable. We get to build relationships with young women during a very important time in their lives. We have the privilege of seeing them grow and learn, and in turn, help them find their passion. All while getting to compete and coach a game we love. Nothing better, in my book.

4. Time flies whether you’re having fun or not!

Now, I know our jobs can be very stressful. And there are some seasons that are more difficult than others. Some days it’s easier to laugh, and some easier to cry. But if we aren’t enjoying the experience as whole, why are we here?

I’m seriously interested in having fun. I’m a firm believer that you can work hard and have fun. Those things are not mutually exclusive in my ever-changing coaching philosophy. I like to see the funny sides of my players. I like to encourage cracking a joke if maybe we can’t grasp a particular drill or if that 7 a.m. lift just seems to be dragging.

Whether we like it or not, the time is going to pass just as quickly if we are having fun or not. Think about your seniors. I am sure you remember the first time you met them, maybe their first practice. How about now, in their last season as a collegiate athlete? How do you want them to feel when they think back on their experience? How do you want them to remember you? I hope all of my athletes will look back and smile at their time on our team and that the experience has changed them for the better.

5. Home is not a place, it’s a feeling!

Although I am far from my family in New Jersey, and I may only see them a few times a year, I have built a family here at Benedictine College. I am blessed that the Atchison community embraced me with open arms five years ago.