This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Dominique Hamman is a graduate assistant coach at Grand Valley State.

“Make it your business to draw out the best in others by being an exemplar yourself.” — Epicteus

Many times, being in school while coaching at the college level means that there isn’t that big of an age gap between you and your players. Whether you are a graduate assistant or a full-time coach taking advantage of free tuition by your university, it can be a really large challenge both physically and mentally trying to juggle both of these responsibilities.

Many times, the goal is to keep it “business as usual,” where you manage your schoolwork and responsibilities so well that your players have no idea that you even live this separate life.

Other times, going to school and coaching can be this BIG SECRET because you are possibly young yourself and it is already a challenge not to get mistaken as one of your players.

I remember in my first year, I never wanted my players to know that I went to class just like them. I would quick-walk to class at night hoping that I wouldn’t run into them at the Starbucks before class. My efforts in that failed and I always got a, “Hey Coach Dom!” (They thought it was funny, like they were performing a class check on me.)

I felt like in some way, them knowing that my nights and weekends looked a lot like theirs meant that I couldn’t be someone who they went to for words of wisdom because I wasn’t quite old enough myself to be that person for them. I also wondered if my mission of developing them as young women was hampered by the fact that I was still developing myself.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that many players (I know mine did) will find out about your life as much as they can outside of lacrosse because they are nosey. I also learned that crushing school AND crushing my role as their coach can be a powerful example for them and a tool to use in developing them as young women.

I think I can speak for many coaches when I say that seeing the growth in our players from when they arrive as freshman to their graduation day is one of the coolest parts of our job. At Grand Valley, one of the ways in which we support the development of our players as student-athletes is having weekly check-in meetings (now virtual) with them. During these times, I get to use my current life as an example to them of what perseverance and having a diligent work ethic looks like and how far it can take you. Through my success as their coach as well as my success as a graduate student, I hope to encourage them to see that the process and hardships are worth it.

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to finish my thesis and focus solely on my career as a coach, but I know that this time of my life as a graduate assistant has only made me a better leader for my players.

The greatest tool we can use as coaches is to lead by example and with that, encompass all of the things we are asking them to be and showing how it will pay off in the end. So be comfortable and own whatever position you are in and remember that whether you are young or not so young, that doesn’t dictate the impact you can have.