Kira Accettella and Beth Hofmann have never met, nor have they ever played against each other. But they share a unique storyline that began with births 5,000 miles away and early adoptions that both led them to opportunities to play college lacrosse.

Their stories have their differences, most notably that Hofmann, a senior defender at Army, reunited with her birth mother four years ago. Accettella, a sophomore midfielder at Stony Brook, is still considering trying to find her birth family.

“Everyone is different,” Accettella said. “Some people may not want to know where they came from, or they would be mad and wonder why she gave me up and say, ‘Why would I want to meet her?’ That’s the one question I would ask — ‘Why did you give me up?’ It could be a good thing. She could say, ‘I wanted you to have a better life,’ or, ‘I couldn’t take care of you.’ Just knowing that answer would really make me smile and fill those questions in my head that I wonder about all the time.”

Hofmann got many of her questions answered by her birth mother in a meeting in a hotel lobby in Romania as she was finishing her senior year at Garnet Valley High outside Philadelphia.

“It’s pretty crazy,” Hofmann said. “Part of me feels like it was complete luck that it happened. I know a lot of people — especially for international adoptions, and mine was a closed adoption — try for years to find out information and come up empty handed, or find out bad news, or don’t get a reunion.

“You think about reuniting with your birth family and you think it’s going to be rainbows and butterflies,” Hofmann continued. “And mine was realistically the best outcome it could have been.”

Hofmann went through an emotional rollercoaster as she sought her birth family but ultimately was able to connect. It’s cleared up a lot of the mystery for her.

“It’s brought me a lot of comfort,” Hofmann said. “When I was in high school, and I would think about my adoption, I kind of had this fear that I would never find out. I was almost OK at the moment, 17 years old, not knowing who my birth family is. Not to sound dramatic, but I don’t want to go through my whole life never knowing. I want to find out at some point, not because it’s going to change who I am, or I have a piece of my identity that’s missing, but there’s this story that I don’t want to be unknown my whole life.”

Accettella was born Katerina Dzhenna Danna Kompetiello and lived for more than three years in a Russian orphanage before being adopted by Peter and Peggy Accettella of Oakdale, N.Y.

“I remember my mom saying I came here with nothing,” Accettella said. “She said I came with one jacket, one pair of boots, one shirt. ‘You had a Winnie the Pooh shirt. That’s all you had. Your face, you looked so sad and just lost.’ That’s what happens when you’re young and being abandoned for three years. I can’t remember it, but I know it was difficult.”

Accettella struggled to learn English and fit in at school. She repeated kindergarten twice as she fought to manage ADHD and auditory processing issues. Athletics, though, came naturally to her and helped her find her niche.

“When I played sports, I felt really confident in that environment because I wasn’t so good in school,” Accettella said. “That’s where I shined. I felt really confident with sports, and that’s where I made a lot of friends. Sports has been my thing, my comfort zone, ever since I was little. When I play lacrosse, I feel really happy, and I don’t worry about anything else.”

Hofmann was born Roxana Martinescu in Bucharest, Romania. Her parents, Eric and Linda Hofmann, flew to Romania to adopt her when she was a newborn and were open about her background as well as her adopted older brother’s.

“My mom specifically always phrased that I was adopted, not that I am adopted,” Hofmann said. “It’s something that happened to me, not all of who I am. It’s an event, not me. I’ve always been proud that I was adopted and so proud to be Romanian, even though I knew very little. I’ve always been proud to be a part of my adoptive family. It’s always been a fun fact that I’ve been proud to share. I’ve been comfortable talking about it. I wanted to know more to continue my story.”

Both women were in middle school when they began looking more into their origins. In part because of her difficulties in school and out of suspicion that classmates might make fun of her, Accettella wasn’t as open about being adopted. Peers would ask why she didn’t look much like her parents.

“I kept it in, and I never really told anyone except my best friends,” she said. “Now that I’m older and in college, all my friends think it’s so cool. It was hard dealing with it growing up because of not looking like your parents and not being blood related.”

Accettella Googled her given name, tried to locate Russian orphanages and even bought a subscription to ancestry.com to trace her background. She has tried to toe the line between finding out more about her first three years of life and respecting the life she’s had since adoption. And that curiosity can create difficult conversations.

“I didn’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings,” Accettella said. “She understands that it’s important for me to know where I came from. She was kind of hurt. That’s a tough spot for her — ‘Why do you want to find out?’ I told her, ‘You know where you’re from. I don’t know anything about my life or anything.’ That was a tough spot for me too. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

It was similar for Hofmann and her adoptive parents.

“I honestly downplay how tough that conversation was on my end,” she said. “I love my parents; I love my family more than anything. The thought of hurting their feelings or making them potentially think I love them less because I want to find out more information, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth, that was scary to have that serious conversation.”

Accettella is grateful for her parents. They recognized her athleticism and fostered it. She needed training wheels on her bike for just a few minutes. She could catch the ball in her first lacrosse practice. Whatever sport she tried, she excelled.

“My mom and my dad got me into track as the first sport, and then they saw I loved it so much, and I was good at it,” Accettella said. “They could see my emotional state improve and how happy I was.”

Accettella’s family has her adoption paperwork, which could help in the hunt for her birth parents. She doesn’t anticipate digging deeper into it until she’s finished with college and lacrosse.

“I would be so excited to find my mom and family and find out where I came from, if I have sisters or brothers, and all these questions,” Accettella said. “Not knowing where you come from is kind of hard. I would definitely be very excited to try to find my mom and dad and any information. I’m not scared to do it or scared that my mom wouldn’t want to meet me. I would just want to know, and I definitely want to do that. I just don’t know how to start the process. I would be so excited to find out more about that.”

Hofmann began searching seriously for her roots in high school. Her family knew only her birth mother’s name and knew she had been 17 when she gave birth. Armed with that knowledge, Hofmann searched Facebook profiles for a match. She found about a dozen with matching names, but just one woman whom she considered possible based on age and limited photos — but she lived in Spain. When she sent her a message, the woman did not respond. Hofmann was with her friends when she created a Facebook account using her given birth name and messaged the woman again. She got a response within 10 minutes that was translated out of Romanian.

“It was sad, but it was the moment of reconnection,” Hofmann said. “She said, ‘I am your birth mother. Please forgive me.’ It was very powerful. I have great friends from school, and I was surrounded by amazing people at the time. That really sparked the beginning of the reunion.”

Hofmann was already planning a senior trip to Romania with her mother, and with the work of a kind Romanian tour guide, they set up a meeting in a hotel for the second day of their trip in the spring of her senior year of high school.

“As an 18-year-old, I had nothing to lose,” Hofmann said. “I just really jumped in. I didn’t test the waters. I just wanted to know. I’m glad I pushed to find out and persevered to find out when I did. It took this weight off my shoulders over these last four years having the ability to know. It’s also exciting to know more about my heritage and hearing more about where I’m from.”

Hofmann arrived two hours early to the hotel. The guide cautioned her that the woman might not show up, but her birth mother emerged from a car with a younger son, Hofmann’s maternal grandmother and two cousins for support and entered the hotel.

“She comes in and immediately hugs me,” Hofmann said. “It was like the longest hug of my life. She’s crying. I’m crying. My mom’s crying. The translator is crying.”

They talked for hours. Her birth father remains a mystery, but Hofmann found out more about the life she may have had in Romania. She is the first person in her biological family to graduate from high school. Hofmann’s birth mother moved away from her small town to have her and didn’t feel she could properly care for her at the time. Hofmann thinks it brought her birth mom comfort to see how happy she and her parents were.

“Adoption for my mom and my dad, for them it was the biggest blessing. One of the coolest things about meeting my birth mother in person was the fact that my mom got to say to her, ‘Thank you for making me a mom,’” Hofmann said, her voice cracking a bit as she recalled the experience. “I’m getting emotional because that was really special for her.”

Hofmann and her birth mother haven’t talked frequently in recent years. They thrilled Hofmann with a FaceTime call on her 19th birthday, and her half-brother remains connected with her via social media. Hofmann has a half-sister now, too, after her birth mom recently remarried. She’s glad they were able to meet in person and share their stories from both sides and glad to have done it then as her life gets busier going forward. Army plays at home against Navy on Saturday, This is Hofmann’s final college season before she graduates and reports to Fort Rucker, Ala., where she expects to be flying helicopters for the U.S. Army for the next 10 years.

“Especially after meeting my birth family, learning more about my heritage, having a bigger understanding of my story and finding that piece of the puzzle, it’s given me a greater appreciation for the opportunities I have,” Hofmann said. “Being the first person in my biological family to graduate from high school to now having the opportunity to attend West Point — the most American institution there is — and to be able to represent my country and the Army as a cadet and in a few months as an officer. One of the coolest things — I always get chills doing it, but especially now — is the national anthem before games. Saluting for the national anthem when we’re wearing Army jerseys is so surreal for me just knowing that I was born in Romania. I’ve been so lucky to have grown up in the United States and to be an American.”

Accettella also appreciates all that she has been through and how she has grown. From a difficult start to life and a slow transition into the country, her adoptive family helped her find and develop her gifts. The health sciences major has been a key contributor for Stony Brook.

“They spoiled me, gave me everything, got me into lacrosse,” Accettella said about her adoptive parents. “They’re very loving and always cared for me and put me first and made me feel like I had a real family with a mom and a dad, which I think is so important. My life here has been so good, probably better if I was not adopted and still in Russia. They’re very supportive. It’s the best life ever, and I make the best of it every day.”