I arrived at Brown University in the fall of 1970, the first in a large Catholic Italian-Irish family to leave Long Island for college. I was recruited to Brown University to play football and was selected as a co-captain of that freshmen team (in the days when freshmen were required to play on first-year teams). My high school, Valley Stream Central, did not have lacrosse, even though powerhouse programs at Elmont, Lynbrook and Sewanhaka surrounded us.

Hard as it may be to imagine, I simply had never seen lacrosse before arriving in Providence, R.I. A buddy on the football team talked me into playing that spring of 1971, and I fell in love with everything about the game from that first day. I also quickly decided that I wanted to be known for being more than just a good athlete and worked relentlessly on improving my stick work. My trick question to young campers is whether it is allowed to work outside on the wall if it happens to be raining or snowing. I don't think I missed a day after first picking up a stick that spring.

I tried out for the U.S. national team in 1977, and you can imagine my joy upon receiving the letter announcing my selection to the team. To this day, it sits near the top of a very short list of my most memorable athletic achievements. I was in great shape and very excited as we moved toward the start of those 1978 games in Stockport, England. I was so proud to be part of a U.S. team that had never lost a game in international play.

We swept the field in the preliminary rounds and faced a Canadian team in the championship game that we had previously beaten 28-4. That score was more of an aberration than any other. This was a Canadian team that included Dave Huntley, Mike French, Stan Cockerton, Johnny Mouradian, Jim Calder, John Grant Sr. and North Carolina State's goalie, Bob Flintoff.

We were down 8-4 at the end of the first quarter in that championship game, and had fought back to put ourselves up two with about three minutes to play. I knocked a ball down in our defensive end, picked it up and headed up the field. If I had pulled it out and just thrown it to Eamon McEneaney or Tom Postel, we likely would have buried the game right there. Instead, in my haste, the defense froze, I charged down the middle of the field and clanged the ball off the crossbar. The rebound found its way back to the midfield line. A Canadian attackman picked it up and scored. Canada won the ensuing faceoff, scored again and then won the game on an extra-man goal in overtime. It was devastating to have my most glorious achievement distinguished by a mental mistake that may have cost us the game and the championship.

While the result was a harbinger of things to come with regard to Canada's potential in the field game, the residual effect was one of the great lessons for a young coach. There are times when we feel like these young players are not listening to us. Why don't they do what we ask, what we have them do in practice? Why are they trying to hurt me? It actually feels personal.

When I have those thoughts, I remember back to a young defenseman who worked so hard to get it right and was still capable of a mental error at the most inopportune time. That mistake turned out to be one of my greatest gifts to all the young men I have coached during these past 42 years. It taught me patience, possibly the most important quality for coaches at all levels.

It still hurts but I became a better coach for the experience.

Dom Starsia, a National Lacrosse Hall of Famer and US Lacrosse Magazine contributor, is the winningest coach in NCAA Division I men's lacrosse history. Starsia compiled 375 wins in 34 seasons at Brown and Virginia, leading the Cavaliers to four NCAA championships. He was a two-time All-American defenseman at Brown and played for the U.S. national team in 1978.