This article appears in the December edition of USA Lacrosse Magazine. Join our momentum.

GOT MILK?

Connor Farrell couldn’t get enough.

Milk was the only drink that could satiate Farrell’s thirst as a child. And because the family refrigerator was always stocked with gallons of it, he never had to look far to quench his thirst. As his milk intake grew, so did his muscles. It transformed him over time into the golden-haired faceoff man with forearms of steel — and also into The Milkman.

The Milkman protects the small and meek from bullies, encouraging them to drink more milk and grow strong.

Superpowers: Chugging so much milk over the years has made The Milkman impervious to pain. His bones simply don’t break, so almost nothing can hurt him. He carries a gallon of milk in each hand, using them as boxing gloves to quell his enemies.

Weaknesses: Because he’s become so reliant on milk, The Milkman’s energy drains quickly. When depleted, he cannot properly protect people. So, his boxing-glove milk gallons double as an on-hand supply of milk to stay energized. The Milkman refills his jugs at home thanks to his pet cow, Steve.

Archnemesis: The Milkman never drank soda growing up. The Fizz, who hurls bottles of soda to bullies to energize them on their assault of the weak, is constantly out to undo him.

Catchphrases:

“That is utterly unacceptable!”

“Pasteurize punch!”

“I’ll protect these people until the cows come home.”

“Hero Ball” turns your favorite lacrosse players into superheroes. Who would you suit up to save the day? Email freeplay@usalacrosse.com.