This article appears in the March 2020 edition of US Lacrosse Magazine. Don’t get the mag? Head to USLacrosse.org to subscribe.

Kerrigan Miller has a small tattoo on her left forearm, just below the crook of her elbow. “Love you like crazy,” it says in thinly scrawled cursive. It’s subtle, yet its meaning is anything but.

A senior captain for the USC women’s lacrosse team and the reigning Pac-12 Midfielder of the Year, Miller adopted the saying from her Pop Pop. He’d always say that to Kerrigan and her four siblings, and it became something of a family motto. The Millers say it when they see each other, when they leave each other and when they text each other. 

It means something special to each of them, but it means a little something more to Kerrigan when explaining her relationship with her 15-year-old brother, Sullivan.

Sullivan “Sully” Miller was born Sept. 15, 2004, with Down syndrome. He had an enlarged heart, hearing loss and sties in his eyes, so his parents, Mark and Christine, weren’t sure if he’d ever hear or see.

Sully can hear and see just fine now. He wore a hearing aid and, for a few years, glasses. The early hearing loss affected his speech.

His heart, Mark Miller said, is healthy.

Sully doesn’t talk much. He often plays on a phone or tablet with his head down. It takes a little while for him to open up to those he hasn’t met before. But when he comes out of his shell, he’s full of laughs and smiles. Over time, he makes a profound impact on those who know him best.

Especially Kerrigan.

“He has hit a spot in my heart that makes me want to do that for the rest of my life, help out the special needs community,” she said. “When you’re around him for so long, you understand his personality and his humor. He’s funny, and although a lot of other people would look at him and think otherwise, he is smart as hell. He’s very witty and very savvy.”

Although there are stressful moments — Mark joked that Sully suffers from Down syndrome and puberty, and he’s not sure which is worse — the youngest Miller is a constant source of joy and practical jokes.

“He’s one of the funniest kids I know,” Mark Miller said. “You’ll be looking for your cell phone, and he put it in the oven to play a joke on you.”

And when he’s around, he’s the star of the show.

“You can’t really not be happy when you’re around him because he’s engaging,” USC coach Lindsey Munday said. “Everyone loves when he’s around.”

When Kerrigan Miller isn’t away at school, a normal day with her brother starts with a bagel. Then, in typical Long Island fashion, the siblings from Bayport head to the beach. Lately, they’ve made trips to the playground because Sully has taken an interest in basketball.

They’ll shoot for a while, get a slice from Furci’s Pizza and call it a day.

“We love food, me and him,” Kerrigan Miller said. “I like to get him out of the house and off his iPad because he’s just glued to that thing.”

The middle child of five, Kerrigan’s older sisters — MacKenzie, 25, and Delaney, 24 — were away at college during most of Sully’s formative years. Her younger sister, Maddigan, is a 17-year-old lacrosse star committed to Stanford, but she’s so close to Sully in age that she never could nurture him in quite the same way as Kerrigan.

“When he was growing up, I was just learning how to drive. I was the older sibling in the house,” Kerrigan Miller said. “Me and Sully were very, very close all throughout middle school and high school because I was around. I was able to take care of him, which was an awesome opportunity just to get close to him and really understand.”

The Millers didn’t know Sully would be born with Down syndrome. While the initial shock was difficult to process, Mark said Kerrigan “just took control of the situation.”

“She made Mom be alright with it,” he said. “She made me be alright with it. Kerrigan pushes him. She challenges him. And he respects her for that. And as a result, they’re inseparable.”

In their adventures during the recent winter recess, the duo went down by the bay at the end of their block and saw a swan. This conventional, unremarkable moment turned into a constant source of laughter.

“Look, that’s a swan!” Kerrigan exclaimed. 

“Is that a bird?” Sully asked.

“‘Yeah, bud, it’s a bird!’” Kerrigan replied.

The question became a running joke. Like clockwork, after hearing Kerrigan retell the story, Sully shouted, “Is that a bird?!”

They laughed and hugged.

On the field, few are fiercer than Kerrigan Miller.

“I can show you a video from when she’s 4 or 5 years old, and she’s just in charge,” Mark Miller said.

The do-it-all midfielder tallied 22 goals, 56 ground balls, 41 caused turnovers and 52 draw controls in 2019. She was named an IWLCA second-team All-American. Once the No. 1-ranked recruit by Inside Lacrosse, she was a member of the 2015 U.S. U19 team and spent last summer on the U.S. senior training team.

Miller is scrappy and competitive on the field. But her demeanor changes when she’s with her brother.

“It’s sort of that complete opposite when she’s around [Sully],” Munday said. “She’s so nurturing.”

In a video sent to US Lacrosse Magazine by Bayport-Blue Point High School girls’ lacrosse coach Ryan Gick, Kerrigan and Sully are rolling around on the USC turf after a 2017 game against Northwestern. This wasn’t staged for the camera. It was just a pure, blissful moment.

“The bond that Kerrigan has with him is just palpable,” Munday said. “You can feel it and see it whenever they are around each other or talking on the phone. It’s just really clear how much they love each other and light up around each other.”

Since Kerrigan migrated to the West Coast for college, her time spent with Sully has lessened. That also means she’s had to take advantage of the moments they do have. They talk constantly.

“I FaceTime with him all the time,” she said. “At first, it was really, really tough. I was definitely homesick, but more so because of Sully. He’s growing up while I’m all the way on the other side of the country. That’s heart-wrenching to see.”

Sully makes frequent trips with one or both of his parents to USC. Kerrigan estimates that they’ve only missed a handful of her home games.

“Obviously, it’s very expensive and time-consuming,” she said. “But he goes all the time. He loves it. He loves the warm weather.”

Sully is USC and Kerrigan’s biggest fan. He can point his sister out from afar and is always cheering when she’s about to make a play. His voice cuts through the rest of the noise in the biggest moments of a game.

“He’s the No. 1 fan on the sidelines,” said Gick, who has coached each Miller daughter in lacrosse and has thus seen plenty of Sully over the years.

When Kerrigan competed with the U.S. training team at the IWLCA Presidents Cup in South Florida in November, Sully was there. For a split second, Mark and Christine couldn’t find him. Then, there he was, squarely positioned between Team USA stars taking pictures and bringing smiles to everyone.

Sully has always taken a liking to his sisters’ teammates.

“We fly him out every chance we get,” Christine Miller said. “Every summer, we go to tournaments, and he’s there with us. I say it all the time. I feel our family is so close.”

Kerrigan Miller doesn’t know exactly what she’d like to do after graduating. She’s a communications major with aspirations of breaking into sports broadcasting, but she said her experience with Sully has her motivated to work with the Special Olympics.

Sully might be a man of few words, but his mannerisms speak volumes. Look no further than this brief, yet beautiful exchange at a December photo shoot.

“Do you love me?” Kerrigan asked.

“Yeah,” Sully said.

When Kerrigan asked how much, Sully needn’t say a word. He just spread his arms wide, and the two embraced.

Love like crazy.