Lauren Davenport is the manager of athlete development at US Lacrosse. She has coached lacrosse at the youth, high school and collegiate levels.

If you read my last article, “A Call to Action,” thank you. As part of my pledge, I commit to do the extra work to help create opportunities for players and coaches of color to become part of the lacrosse community and stay in the lacrosse community.

To do the work, I took some time to reflect on what could be needed next. In my reflection, I realized that my focus has shifted from my “why” to my “how.” I know why I am doing what I am doing, but to look at that full picture, I needed to reflect on how I even got here. Allow me to share some stories.

When I was in third grade, I had the opportunity to play in an orchestra because I was in public school and the music teacher invited anyone interested in class to join band or orchestra. I chose violin and became classically trained in the instrument. By ninth grade, I switched to viola and learned to become jazz trained in viola as well. I played through college — mostly weddings — and donated my viola not long after I stopped playing and pursued other things in life.

In the summer before 10th grade, I was outside on my high school’s basketball court shooting around so that I could start to get in shape for basketball season while my sister was in the gym for volleyball tryouts. My PE teacher came running up to the court and asked me if I wanted to try field hockey for the fall. I said yes. Between field hockey and orchestra, I realized I was burned out on basketball from playing it for so long. I ended up playing indoor field hockey in the winter instead of basketball and never went back.

Fast-forward to being in graduate school at LSU. I got invited to a Bible study off campus through the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I met someone who invited me to play lacrosse for LSU’s club team. Again, I said yes. I played on the team as a defender during its inaugural season. I also realized that I had a strong knack for coaching and stayed at LSU two years after graduating as the defensive coordinator and conditioning coach, helping the team win the TWLL championship in my second year of coaching.

I enjoyed being in the lacrosse world so much, including the coach training opportunities, that I have yet to leave the sport and have no plan to do so anytime soon.

From orchestra to field hockey to lacrosse, do you notice any patterns? It’s not that I was in public school my entire life nor that the opportunities were there — it’s that I was always invited into these communities I would not be part of otherwise.

The other pattern is that I was always one of few Black girls in those spaces because orchestra, field hockey and lacrosse are uncommon spaces for Black people. Nonetheless, I stayed in each community. While I did not have any overt racist experiences (i.e., being called a racial slur) in either of the communities, I always received looks of shock from strangers when carrying my violin or viola, field hockey stick or lacrosse stick. I always knew that my “yes” to each of these invitations meant that I would be one of few (if any) people of color — let alone Black people — in these spaces. I wanted to participate anyway. My love for music and sports propelled me forward and moved me past the looks of shock into experiences that have shaped me today.

To those players who are or may have had similar experiences — I see you. You are not the only one to experience this (unfortunately), but you are now reading about a person who made it through those uncomfortable experiences. Don’t let the looks and perceptions of others stop you. For me, it was never about proving them wrong — it was about showing myself that I could do it. The looks never went away, but my attitude and mindset didn’t allow the looks to hold me back. Keep going.

Without these opportunities, invitations and saying yes to them, I don’t know that I would be here today writing this article. If I hadn’t traveled to field hockey tournaments and orchestra competitions, I may not have developed the love for travel that propelled me to Louisiana, where I played and coached lacrosse for the first time. If I hadn’t done that, I may not have stayed connected to the lacrosse world when I moved to California. If I hadn’t connected to lacrosse in California, I may not have become a coach trainer with US Lacrosse, met regional director Lyn Porterfield or been on the NorCal Chapter board as the diversity and inclusion chair before coming back to Maryland. Now, I get to be the manager of athlete development for US Lacrosse and serve the lacrosse community in this capacity.

The list can go on and on, but the theme remains the same: The invitation matters just as much as the opportunity.

After each invitation, I felt welcomed in each place and was able to actively participate in spaces I would not have known existed without those invitations. It’s important to note here that the invitation must be genuine, meaningful and one that can set people up for success. My music teacher, PE teacher/field hockey coach and teammate — all white women — got to know me first before inviting me into each space. They knew enough about my likes, dislikes, abilities and interests to know that these invitations could only grow and expand the skills and ideas I’d already expressed. They all probably knew I would say yes. They just needed to ask first.

It wasn’t about me being the token Black person, but rather inviting me into spaces I did not already know about and could be successful in. Once in each space, I received the resources I needed to continue learning and improving. I worked hard and kept putting myself out there to get better. I did my part to learn and asked for help when needed. Sometimes, I had to do a little extra since others started before me, but I stayed.

Some people have a head start based on race, ethnicity and/or socioeconomic status based on historical systems of our country that still affect us today. Some people grow up knowing that these opportunities exist, while others, like me, have no idea. We cannot know everything, but we can do our best to help others learn more about the opportunities within our communities. We can look at these spaces to see who is not there, but would probably like to be, and extend an invitation. We should think about the relationships we have with others and build a bridge to an opportunity that may benefit them.

Say you’re that program leader (coach, player or friend) that I mentioned in my previous article. You created the opportunity. You have a friendship with or are an acquaintance to someone who may be interested and can be successful in the sport. You know of some potential players and coaches who may want to get involved in lacrosse — or maybe haven’t heard of the lacrosse but could learn the sport. What if you extend that invitation? What if that person says yes? What if he or she falls in love with the sport? What if that person becomes the next Cherie Greer Brown, Myles Jones or Eboni Preston-Laurent?

The possibilities are endless but are not likely to happen if we do not continue to create opportunities and invite others to actively participate in the space.

Here is my invitation to you:

1. Reflect on the opportunities you’ve been given in life so far

2. Reflect on how you got here and why you stayed

3. Continue to create opportunities in spaces that are not as diverse — yet

4. Make genuine and intentional invitations to those spaces

5. Use your why, your team culture to create a program that is inclusive, equitable and diverse so that people can be successful (and not just in winning games)

I encourage us all to do our part. Whether you use the pledge (or your own) from my last article and/or my invitation above, I ask: Who will you invite into our lacrosse community?