This article appears in the Western Mid-Atlantic version of the July/August edition. Don’t get the mag? Join US Lacrosse today to start your subscription.

Being a lacrosse mom doesn’t have to only be about driving the kids to practice.

There is no shortage of post-collegiate playing opportunities for men. With the grandmasters division, even those older than 50 can string up a stick and play the game just like they did as kids, only a little slower. 

But for women, there are far fewer chances to keep playing. As the game booms at the collegiate and scholastic levels, the number of women playing on adult club teams is dropping.

The Women’s Mid-Atlantic Club Lacrosse League (WMACLL), which hosts teams throughout Baltimore, Annapolis, Washington, D.C. and Northern Virginia, is the largest post-collegiate club league in the country. But even this organization, in an area where one can’t walk down the street without running into a former college lacrosse player, has seen in its number of teams drop from 12 teams to seven over the last decade.

League chair Lauren Zolkiewicz fears the dwindling numbers could eventually force the league to shut down. Already, the WMACLL has had to get creative and set up round-robin tournaments each weekend to avoid having bye weeks.

No one signs up for club lacrosse to have a bye week. Players want to play. But at a certain point, some players stop playing. It often coincides with getting married and having kids.

“It’s a weird double standard almost,” Zolkiewicz said. “You would think with this new wave of feminism, people would also keep track of things they enjoyed before they got married. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

Every year, more and more women come to the preseason meeting and say it’s their last year because they’re getting married or having kids. But the moms who play say it doesn’t have to be this way.

“Sometimes mom guilt plays a big part,” Zolkiewicz said. “Moms feel guilty about doing anything for ourselves. We’re all working moms, why should we spend even more time away from our kids? People are worried about being judged. We have to show that this is the new norm. It’s important for us to show our sons that women also play sports and show our daughters that they can do whatever they want in life.”

Zolkiewicz, who played at Duquesne in the early 2000s, is speaking from an experience. She has three boys. She took off one season, because she was pregnant. She returned to the field six weeks after her son was born. She’d wheel her baby to the sideline and her teammates would listen to hear if he started to cry.

She’s not the only one. There are single mothers who bring their kids and have their teammates watch them on the sideline. One mom brings her 3-year-old son to every game. He’s their biggest cheerleader.

“Everyone wants pictures with the babies,” Zolkiewicz said. “There’s such a big supportive network. I can’t imagine parking a stroller on the guys’ sideline.”

The teammates become another set of eyes for the moms, offering a few minutes in which a player can go back and play knowing her kid is in good hands. 

But the drop in participation isn’t just about finding someone to watch the kids. Some women fear they won’t be able to keep up as they get older.

“I’ve had conversations with other moms, and there is definitely this insecurity that there isn’t a spot for them,” Zolkiewicz said. “The guys don’t care. They’re like, ‘Whatever, I’ll beat someone up and move on.’ The number one question I get is about the level of competitiveness. We care more about having fun. It should be about that. It’s kind of like reteaching girls that it’s OK to not catch as well as you used to or miss the ground ball, which I do all the time.”

Ultimately, whether the player is a mother of three or a 23-year-old fresh out of the ACC, the club scene helps her rediscover that lacrosse is supposed to be fun.

“I honestly think after having kids I was little lost as to what is my life was,” Zolkiewicz said. “Am I a mom? Am I a working mom? How do I fit in? What’s my new role? Lacrosse made me realize I didn’t have to lose who I am.” U