The Family Game: Tough Love with the Colseys

Kyle Colsey’s high school career started out with a bang. The freshman scored eight goals in a win over St. Joseph (Conn.). He was jacked up.

But when he scored just once against perennial Connecticut powerhouses Darien and New Canaan in the next two games, his father and coach, Roy Colsey, sat down the 14-year-old for a humbling conversation.

“These are the teams that we need you to score against, not these other opponents,” Kyle Colsey said his father told him. “I kind of realized that I need to lock in, that I’m not as good as that one game showed. I really needed to lock in.”

Colsey has locked in and is now a five-star recruit, ranked No. 9 in the Class of 2024 by Inside Lacrosse and headed to Virginia. He’ll be one of the most decorated players at Ridgefield High School when all is said and done.

He’s also the most yelled at.

“Every day in practice was a grind. We had our fun, but I mean, there wasn't a time in practice that I didn't get yelled at in front of everyone and like pretty, pretty bad,” Colsey said. “Honestly, it's good. I wouldn't change it for the world but, it’s definitely different.”

Before that eight-goal game in his varsity debut, Roy Colsey told his son how he’d handle the father-son/coach-player dynamic. With tough love.

“Unfortunately you treat him worse, that’s what winds up happening,” Roy Colsey said. “I think people, no matter what you do, are looking for favoritism. They’re looking for some kind of benefit that's happening for your son because you're coaching him.”

Roy told Kyle if he was close in terms of skill level with another player, that other player would get the edge.

It never came to that. That first year, Kyle and his older brother Ryan, helped lead Ridgefield to the CIAC Class L championship, although Kyle missed the championship game due to an emergency appendectomy.

Ryan has gone on to play at Virginia, where he’s now a sophomore attackman. Kyle has 179 goals and 98 assists and is a two-time All-American. He’ll join his brother in Charlottesville next year.

And Roy, the Syracuse legend and National Lacrosse Hall of Fame midfielder, will be there too, just as dad. “He loves UVA now, probably more than Syracuse,” Kyle Colsey joked.

This is Kyle’s final season at Ridgefield and Roy’s last as head coach after 15 years.

“He's done everything for this program,” Kyle Colsey said "This is my last ride. This is my dad's last ride. I want to go out with some hardware.”

BLOODLINES

Roy Colsey: Kyle is way more talented than me physically and I think he’s a better shooter than I was. But I don’t know very many people that can match my competitive drive or toughness. That was always my superpower.

Kyle Colsey: He has a motor that no one else has. I see that now. He’s just competitive in everything he does. I wouldn’t say that I’m not competitive. But he’s extreme.

Roy Colsey: His quickness is hard to replicate. I would certainly pay money to have his first step.

Kyle Colsey: I struggle with the mind games a little bit. Everything that anybody ever said to him just fuels him. I could use some of that.